Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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