i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
he thought i was a dude.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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