I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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