I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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