they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
