So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
