I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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