Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
