so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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