ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
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Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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