I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
