I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
