So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
