dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's never too late to be topless.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
