You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
