who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize