Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
