i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I need moral support for this bender
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
