does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
