69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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