My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
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