FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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