Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
