Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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