Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
