She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
