Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
