is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
