I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
