We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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