im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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