no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
