You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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