i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
