well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
