69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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