Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
