New invention idea: vibrating tampons
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
