I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
