Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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