i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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