those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
