how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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