So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
