I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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