thus making me awesome and them whores
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
