Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
