I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
