I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize