I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
