Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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