He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
