OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
