if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
