Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
