my mouth tastes like poor choices
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Operation Purity has been aborted
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Vodka?
Forever.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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