Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
