Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
