Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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