I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
