Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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