things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He kissed a someone with a penis
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
