how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
